The Life & Times of My Cousins

I'll tell you straight, I come from a very dysfunctional family. My mum is a tree-hugging, grass-kissing, bus-riding fanatic, my grandma is one of those strange ahem-ahem year-olds that leave their hand-phones in the fridge for preservation, and I'm not going to start on my uncle. But, I never thought that the dysfunctionality that is so prominent in MY family would go on to wreck my adopted cousins. My prayer went un-answered.

I'll start with the most recent. My cousin, 3, (let's call him Cousin 1) went out with his family to Bangsar Village. The family consists of;

1. Bone-thin Grandmother- 1 unit
2. Mum, also bone-thin- 1 unit
3. Maid, not so thin- 1 unit.

So there's a chair next to the escalator. The maid puts Cousin 1 on the chair. So he's fooling around with the banister of the moving escalator, Mum is on the phone, maid is aiding Mum, and Grandma can't see that well. Next thing you know, he's hanging off of the escalator banister MOVING UP! Grandma is following him below saying, 'I'll catch you! I'll catch you!' (but if he DID fall off, skinny Grandma would pass on, he's so heavy) and the maid is out of the vicinity, aiding Mum at a store. A lady, bless her soul, was standing just a few steps higher on the escalator, pulling him up. He was moving up on the OUTSIDE of the escalator!

Cousin 2 has had a bad day. While Mummy & Daddy are having a meeting, she found food and wants some. Mummy & Daddy ignore her. She's a little lower that the table, so she doesn't know what's on it. She reaches up, grabs something off the table, and immediately puts it in her mouth. What she thought was small tea cakes was actually cili padi. Then comes the wailing, while Mummy washes out her mouth. Later that day, she staples her finger. Blood squirting out her nail, freaking out Grandma. Then, to cap off the day, the office TV falls on her. Falling TV's run in her family, for both her elder brothers had TV's fall on them. Poor Cousin 2, eh?

Cousin 3 is Cousin 2's elder brother, the middle child (Cousin 2 is younger). He's 7 years old. They live in a small Rumah Papan. He wants to clean his room. So he cleans it up, puts everything in a wastepaper basket. He wants to rid of the rubbish, so he sets it alight. The basket is plastic. As the flames grew, he runs outside to seek help of his older brother. He sees his elder brother playing football, forgets the fire, and plays football too. Thank goodness the maid smelt smoke and put out the fire.

Now do you understand my dysfunctional cousins? If you do, help me out because I have yet to understand their complex minds. Let's hope that this dysfuntionality doesn't pass on to their kids! That may start a war!